Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Bayern fangirl creates online petition for Schweini to change hairstyle


Bastian Schweinsteiger is a well know Bayern Munich star with a lot of fan following worldwide.The midfielder made his debut for the Bavarians in 2002 and since then has been a massive hit among Bayern fans. However one sect of the fans were in for a rude shock following the German internationals appearance during the match against Augsburg.

"I could not belive my eyes" said a fangirl from England. "I literally started crying" said another.The German star came out on the pitch with what appeared to be a very Robben similar hairstyle."Everyone on the field were in for a rude shock. The fans and the team were all looking at Schweini. No one cared about losing that unbeatable record in that match" said a fangirl from Germany. Football pundits from blamed Pep for letting Schweinsteiger to appear with that hairstyle. "Bayern loose match due to Schweinsteiger's hair" read the headline at's website.The topic also became a world wide trend on twitter, with people tweeting more about the hair than the match itself.

Bild also went on to dedicate a special article on the different  types of Schweinsteiger's  hairstyle
One of 100 other hairstyles

One fangirl however decided to take matters in her own hand by creating  an online petition on  The petition that reads "Change your hairstyle Schweini" has already massed around 50k signatures and is one of the highest grossing campaigns on the website. The spokesperson for said,  "Usually we get petitions regarding, poverty, politics, and other social issues but for the first time i am witnessing a global outrage over a hairstyle.And 90% of them are women" managed to get in touch with the fangirl who created the petition. "Whenever i used to see Basti, i used to get this feeling inside. But ever since the match against Augsburg its all gone. We all want a change now". The petition description on the website also claims the new hairstyle is the reason behind Bayern's current slump in form and the recent loses to Dortmund and Madrid. It also blames it for the current crises at Bayern and the mass exodus of the players.

G. Trapattoni press conference

This press conference took place on March 10, 1998 when the great Italian coach, Giovanni Trapattoni managed the German club, Bayern Munchen. He reacted emotionally to complaints, at that time by his players who had big reputation.

Monday, 5 May 2014

Ribery fumes over Boateng for being caught after slapping

Ribery with a double slap
Bayern Munich defender Jerome Boateng is to be fined for slapping Hamburg midfielder Kerem Demirbay, according to CEO Karl-Heinz Rummenigge.

Boateng was sent off for his slap in the face of Demirbay in the final minutes of Bayen's 4-1 win at struggling Hamburg on Saturday.
Boateng admitted he was in the wrong after the Hamburg game, and was quoted by Bild as saying: "That was stupid. I can only apologize."

However he had to face the brunt from his coach Ribery who fumed that despite all the training given by him, Boateng was still caught. "I cannot accept failure" Said Franck. " I've been training him for a long time now, and i even showed him how its to be exactly done during the Madrid game, and yet he fails me"
Boateng even apologized to Ribery , however reports from claim the Ribery has not yet forgiven him.
Boateng attempting to do a Ribery
"During the Madrid match , i not only evaded slapping Carvajal, but also butt slapped Boa at the same time, all this in front of around 15 people surrounding me without being caught" Said Ribery as quoted in Bild

Franck Ribery is known for his unsavory incidents Following Ribery's recent butt surgery he is having a really hard time on the pitch.

Friday, 2 May 2014

Manuel Neuer extends contract after Bayern promise life time free Nutella

Neuer winning the Nutella cup

FC Bayern and German international goalkeeper Manuel Neuer signed a contract extension that will keep him at last season's treble winners until 2019.
'Our goalkeeper Manuel Neuer has today extended his contract to 2019. however it came at a heavy price,' Rummenigge told reporters.
Manuel Neuer a well known Schalke fan born in Gelsenkirchen, and still a Schalke faithful decided to sign an extension for Bayern only after club officials promised him a life time supply of free Nutella.

"I have always loved Nutella, and this deal was too hard to resist" Said the German keeper as quoted by Bild. "My original plan was to finish the remaining time on my contract and then head back to my boyhood club Schalke on a free transfer. I have already won everything at Bayern and there was no reason for me to stay back. But Bayern offered me a deal i could not reject".

Neuer Nutella

Reports from also state that Neuer made the Bayern officials print a new contract that mentioned Nutella on it, and only then the papers were signed.
"There really are more important things than football in life, and one of them is Nutella" quoted Neuer on the FCB website.

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Rooney files lawsuit against Schweinsteiger for chopping off legs

Bastian chopping off Rooney's legs

Bayern Munich and Manchester United played to a 1-1 draw Tuesday in the first leg of a Champions League quarterfinal. Nemanja Vidic got the Red Devils on the board in the 58th minute while Bastian Schweinsteiger notched the equalizer for the defending champs in the 66th minute. But it was a moment between United star Wayne Rooney and the Bayern vice-captain that had Old Trafford buzzing. After the German drew a yellow card earlier in the second half, Rooney had possession late in the match when Schweinsteiger went in for the tackle. The tackle was soooo bad that Rooney's legs ripped off his body, as the United star fell in pain screaming "Murder".

A report by The Mirror said that following the end of the match Rooney immediately went to file a lawsuit against Schweinsteiger for attempt to murder. The local Police have confirmed the news.
When contacted the Manchester police, Officer Grant, said that "Yes Rooney was here, the injury looked real bad and he was fuming with anger. We gave him the required documents to fill out the lawsuit, however after 20 mins later he suddenly gets up and walks away"

A neighborhood kid who was also present at the scene said "I was there to complaint of these kids bullying me always. Suddenly i see Wayne also there. He sits beside me and keeps asking me to spell some name called "Shwinetiger", we tried many combinations. Since we both couldn't figure out the right spelling he got frustrated and left".
An unhappy Schweinsteiger twice spoke to Rooney about the incident before walking off.
Schweinsteiger is suspended for the return leg at the Allianz Arena on 9 April, along with Javi Martínez, although with Mario Götze, who was rested, and Dante to return Pep Guardiola has options available.

The English press is calling for Schweinstiger' s head, as now their only hope for winning the World Cup has huge chances of missing it.

Sunday, 7 May 2006

Oliver Khan calls for Bayern to search the legendary Dragon Balls

Der Titan, "Balls, YOU need balls"
"Eier, wir brauchen Eier!" Yes that's right , that's exactly what you need. When asked what Bayern lacked when they lost against Schalke , Oliver Khan repeated the exact same words.
"I have been a big fan of the Dragon Ball series, if this team ever wants to win anything , then the only way we can achieve this is by summoning Shenron, the dragon and ask him to give this team some winning mentality and more trophies"
The Dragon balls are a set of seven orange, crystalline spheres with the ability to call forth the Eternal Dragon Shenron who has the ability to grant wishes to anyone who gathers all seven of them. 

The Dragon Balls
"No one makes fun of the Dragon Balls" says the Titan as quoted by Bild. A report from also carried a story of a Bayern player once mocking the Dragon ball series, Khan vented out his frustration during the match by sucker punching him right in the face.
Khan on his way to beat Bommel for making fun of DBZ

Kahn is one of the most successful German players in recent history, having won eight Bundesliga titles, six DFB-Pokals, the UEFA Cup in 1996, the UEFA Champions League and the Intercontinental Cup, both achieved in 2001. His individual contributions have earned him four consecutive UEFA Best European Goalkeeper awards, three IFFHS World's Best Goalkeeper awards, and two German Footballer of the Year trophies. At the 2002 FIFA World Cup, Kahn became the first and only goalkeeper in the tournament's history to win the Golden Ball. He credits all his success to the Dragon Balls.